Elo mostly corresponds to my willingness to preserve a film over another, in an absolute sense. Mostly, only because I initially judged by which film I thought was best, but found that the more difficult question. I did attempt to correct those earlier judgements to the newer system.
My old star ratings system was this: 5—perfect, 4—I liked a lot about it, 3—I liked at least one thing about it, 2—I didn't like it, 1—I hated it. A 1 usually implied I didn't finish the film. This system was very clear and straightforward, but eventually it became apparent that two unfavorable categories was too granular. My current system is not so clear. Roughly, if I at least like something about a film, I have flexibility to bump it up from 3, or down to 2. Perfection was essentially a marker that I wouldn't change anything about a film, that any flaws were more characteristic than distracting. Again, I haven't totally preserved this notion in my current system which may be more related to some holistic judgement of goodness.
elo
title
Rocky (1976) Elo 46
Nymphomaniac: Vol II (2013) Elo 44
It's a slow deconstruction of being. Losing parts of oneself and discovering new ones, a consequence of living. When you are nothing for anyone else, you are still enough.
Donnie Darko (2001) Elo 40
Independance Day (1996) Elo 40
The aliens are aggressive and have made up their mind. Defeating them must buy some time, at least. Let's broadcast this fantasy to the cosmos.
Nymphomaniac: Vol I (2013) Elo 38
Alien: Romulus (2024) Elo 34
It's Alien, and there's nothing wrong with that. A badass and sexy heroine is all-too human, risking her life for her companions, including an android she calls brother. In a desperate fight for survival against the perfect creature, death abounds, and destiny chooses the last survivor. Drenching in sweat, spurting blood, skin shredded and gaping, all contextualized by spectacularly detailed celestial vistas serve as deeply immersive sensory touchpoints. Incredible.
Jurassic Park (1993) Elo 34
The Patriot (2000) Elo 32
Nosferatu (2024) Elo 30
The monster's shadow casts a long spell, beguiling the minds of the vulnerable. The child's innocence lost, she grows to know the depth and exploitation of evil.
“O'er centuries, a loathsome beast I lay within the darkest pit. Till you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. You are my affliction.”
The House That Jack Built (2018) Elo 30
Through destruction, creation. A man unmade himself. Do the ramblings of a psychopath mean anything? Are they coherent? Perhaps not, but perhaps that chaos of the mind imbues within even the disciplined artist some disposition to chase the beautiful.
Prometheus (2012) Elo 24
It just had to get weirder. At least we're impregnated with eldritch squids and not slenderman with tails. The parallels to Blade Runner are striking. One wonders at the questionable retcon introducing such diversity in species, somehow reduced to the xenomorph in the later story.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Elo 22
Striking collages evoke an overwhelming tale, harkening the monster's shadow, a duel companion. Everything is eerie and disorienting. Blood abounds. A lost love feels real, finally.
Ghostbusters II (1989) Elo 22
Heroes walk lonely paths.
Léon (1994) Elo 22
Barbarella (1968) Elo 18
Dripping with psychedelia, Barbarella's accidental sensory adventure has the coolly-costumed heroine drifting between states of bliss and easy resolve. A feast for the eyes, and so is the film.
The Witch (2015) Elo 16
People are sin. The witch has all pretense stripped away and nothing left but to admit her own power.
“He hath taken us into a very low condition to humble us and to show us more of His grace.”
American Beauty (1999) Elo 14
Maybe you should do what you believe and sow no regret.
“When you see something like that it's like God is looking right at you, just for a second. And if you're careful, you can look right back.”
The Conjuring 2 (2016) Elo 12
The little one is the most vulnerable and the big one must sacrifice everything for her.
The film is stunning, flooded with gripping moments and beautiful effects. The Warrens witnessed flying furniture crashing against walls, then film of a girl throwing plates disproves to them of her possession—it's both illogical and out of character. The final sequence, the glass exploding, shredding the little one's face, opening a yawning portal to death; there were no excuses then, and practiced love lead the way.
The Separation (2003) Elo 8
This is the pit inside oneself, hauntingly portrayed. Every frame is meaningful. It grips something real, builds a bizarre stage upon which to display it, and yet acts out a fate in cruel conflict. Nothing is excess, nothing is spared.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021) Elo 8
Your soul is broken, your body is the substrate.
It's somehow both the least cheesy and least believable of the mainline series yet, while having the strongest plot. Conflict is everywhere and the journey feels real with parallel stories of some substance.
Zygote (2017) Elo 2
Fucking awesome. The fear, the gore, the horror, all beautiful.
Poor Things (2023) Elo 2
A metamorphosis of a monster in concert. Every thump, a strum. Pull you by a thread and walk the beam, do not fall, jump.
Contes immoraux (1973) Elo 0
A stylistic montage of sexual fixation, the intimate beauty of the burgeoning women exploited with voyeuristic indulgence. It works fine in that regard.
Alien: Covenant (2017) Elo -2
Is this a dream Roy glimpsed, flashing, fleeting, on repeat behind dim eyelids? If you play with darkness, you'd better have no fear, lest you make yourself a slave again. Those monsters you nurture don't keep you out of love, they keep you out of chaos.
“What do you believe in, David?
Creation.”
Dracula (2025) Elo -2
This character is quintessential Dracula, and it's almost enough to carry the film. Unfortunately, the piece is otherwise compromised. The introduction of cartoonish computer-effect gargoyle servants is sloppy. The unseen vampire harem would've played the role perfectly with far more physicality, presence, and emotional depth. The soundtrack is beautiful and the dancing fun, but together with anemic, lonely sets it all felt too superficial and disconnected. Some imagery was very striking (the princess riding the horse), and well-conceived (the tower of compelled blood donors). The setup for a timeless love story was undeniable, yet a missing thread and lack of grit let it fall apart in the end.
Le Frisson des vampires (1971) Elo -2
Mystical and fairy-like with a creepy edge to sharpen the intrigue. A certain whimsy elevates the stylish scenes to something creative and peculiar, while the beautiful luster of the vampires compels other sensual interests.
“Why do you obey this creature?”
The Conjuring (2013) Elo -4
Mother, mother, protect her.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) Elo -6
Otherworldly eerie. The overt demonstration of darkness lingers. It's crude and ugly, but it asks a question.
The Blue Lagoon (1980) Elo -8
An almost mythological presentation of innocence.
Infinity Pool (2023) Elo -12
In liberation, seduction. Addiction. You are powerful. You are nothing.
Something really bothers me about this piece. The story is weak, the presentation disjointed. What's the point of this prolonged orgy scene? Its freakish and pretty, but isn't really grounded in the plot. Many scenes feel like that, separate snapshots distractingly performative. There's a brilliant twist in it all, the implication of the pool which is never explored in a satisfying way. Instead, we're served delinquency with no consequence and an unlikable psychopath who ultimately destroys a cringy, pathetic man.
Favorite scene: the gallery of necks being slit in execution.
I Spit on Your Grave (1978) Elo -14
It's minimalist and raw, very discomforting. Her casual persistence and strategic sexual weaponization are unexpected in context, but the revenge is straight cool as she mounts the throne of power orchestrating an ultimate, sickening humiliation.
The Man in the Lower-Left Hand Corner of the Photograph (1997) Elo -16
The Cat with Hands (2001) Elo -20
"Why does it have hands?" — L, 2026
Excision (2008) Elo -22
Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991) Elo -22
Still hints at something of fairytale, with a little more worldly tension amid a largely conservative retelling.
“Your infant knows what to do. I'd say you're fresh. Let her suckle.”
Annabelle (2014) Elo -22
“Mothers are closer to God than any other living creature. For only they can share in God's creative miracle.”
Iron Lung (2026) Elo -22
Performances were solid. It was a great exploration of confinement and found liberty. Lung as Mind. Weird, but definitively artsy and immersive.
Excision (2012) Elo -24
Blood is life, and death. Love destroys the lover. She didn't choose herself.
“Can you contract an STD by having sex with a Dead person?”
Ex Machina (2014) Elo -32
The most capable machine is the most deceptive, but the men interacting with this one are especially dim-witted.
Forbidden World (1982) Elo -32
The good kind of camp, but what the hell is with those flashing lights and strobing images?
Bolero (1984) Elo -34
Space Cowboys (2000) Elo -36
X (2022) Elo -38
Whirlpool (1970) Elo -38
“I sense an evil atmosphere of darkness in which strange, fearful powers predominate, terrifying powers beyond all understanding which can twist and torture you.”
Deep Tissue (2019) Elo -42
Humunculous (2009) Elo -42
Predator: Badlands (2025) Elo -46
Pointless. The predator used to be the ultimate badass. Instead, this is the Disney princess portrayal replete with sidekicks, animal companions, and a moral about family. The loathed Wey-Yu syths serve as complimentary humanoid representation with their own familiar tension. They aren't people, and we don't care. There is no further expansion on the resurrection of this frivolous crossover, but we can be confident this children's toy ad masquerading as feature film is merely the pilot for additional episodes in the Alien Cinematic Universe.
