Elo mostly corresponds to my willingness to preserve a film over another, in an absolute sense. Mostly, only because I initially judged by which film I thought was best, but found that the more difficult question. I did attempt to correct those earlier judgements to the newer system.
My first star ratings system was developed to encourage useful Netflix recommendations. It went like this: 5—perfect, 4—I liked a lot about it, 3—I liked at least one thing about it, 2—I didn't like it, 1—I hated it. A 1 usually implied I didn't finish the film. That system was very clear and straightforward, but eventually it became apparent that two unfavorable categories was too granular (for a casual viewer, such films would be avoided). Graduating from Netflix (which retired its star system anyway) I retained 1-5 stars, but merged the bad categories. If I at least liked something about a film, I had flexibility to bump it up from 3, or down to 2. I somewhat refined the concept of a 5-star rating to mark films which I wouldn't change, where any flaws were more characteristic than distracting.
My current system reverts to the four familiar and straightforward buckets (original bad categories merged), but expressed as 0-3 stars.
dateelo
title
Rocky (1976) Elo 51
Nymphomaniac: Vol II (2013) Elo 49
It's a slow deconstruction of being. Losing parts of oneself and discovering new ones, a consequence of living. When you are nothing for anyone else, you are still enough.
Donnie Darko (2001) Elo 45
Independance Day (1996) Elo 45
The aliens are aggressive and have made up their mind. Defeating them must buy some time, at least. Let's broadcast this fantasy to the cosmos.
Nymphomaniac: Vol I (2013) Elo 43
Alien: Romulus (2024) Elo 39
It's Alien, and there's nothing wrong with that. A badass and sexy heroine is all-too human, risking her life for her companions, including an android she calls brother. In a desperate fight for survival against the perfect creature, death abounds, and destiny chooses the last survivor. Drenching in sweat, spurting blood, skin shredded and gaping, all contextualized by spectacularly detailed celestial vistas serve as deeply immersive sensory touchpoints. Incredible.
Jurassic Park (1993) Elo 39
The Patriot (2000) Elo 37
Nosferatu (2024) Elo 35
The monster's shadow casts a long spell, beguiling the minds of the vulnerable. The child's innocence lost, she grows to know the depth and exploitation of evil.
“O'er centuries, a loathsome beast I lay within the darkest pit. Till you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. You are my affliction.”
The House That Jack Built (2018) Elo 35
Through destruction, creation. A man unmade himself. Do the ramblings of a psychopath mean anything? Are they coherent? Perhaps not, but perhaps that chaos of the mind imbues within even the disciplined artist some disposition to chase the beautiful.
Prometheus (2012) Elo 29
It just had to get weirder. At least we're impregnated with eldritch squids and not slenderman with tails. The parallels to Blade Runner are striking. One wonders at the questionable retcon introducing such diversity in species, somehow reduced to the xenomorph in the later story.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Elo 27
Striking collages evoke an overwhelming tale, harkening the monster's shadow, a duel companion. Everything is eerie and disorienting. Blood abounds. A lost love feels real, finally.
Ghostbusters II (1989) Elo 27
Heroes walk lonely paths.
Léon (1994) Elo 27
Barbarella (1968) Elo 23
Dripping with psychedelia, Barbarella's accidental sensory adventure has the coolly-costumed heroine drifting between states of bliss and easy resolve. A feast for the eyes, and so is the film.
The Witch (2015) Elo 19
People are sin. The witch has all pretense stripped away and nothing left but to admit her own power.
“He hath taken us into a very low condition to humble us and to show us more of His grace.”
American Beauty (1999) Elo 19
Maybe you should do what you believe and sow no regret.
“When you see something like that it's like God is looking right at you, just for a second. And if you're careful, you can look right back.”
The Conjuring 2 (2016) Elo 17
The little one is the most vulnerable and the big one must sacrifice everything for her.
The film is stunning, flooded with gripping moments and beautiful effects. The Warrens witnessed flying furniture crashing against walls, then film of a girl throwing plates disproves to them of her possession—it's both illogical and out of character. The final sequence, the glass exploding, shredding the little one's face, opening a yawning portal to death; there were no excuses then, and practiced love lead the way.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021) Elo 13
Your soul is broken, your body is the substrate.
It's somehow both the least cheesy and least believable of the mainline series yet, while having the strongest plot. Conflict is everywhere and the journey feels real with parallel stories of some substance.
The Separation (2003) Elo 11
This is the pit inside oneself, hauntingly portrayed. Every frame is meaningful. It grips something real, builds a bizarre stage upon which to display it, and yet acts out a fate in cruel conflict. Nothing is excess, nothing is spared.
Zygote (2017) Elo 7
Fucking awesome. The fear, the gore, the horror, all beautiful.
Contes immoraux (1973) Elo 5
A stylistic montage of sexual fixation, the intimate beauty of the burgeoning women exploited with voyeuristic indulgence. It works fine in that regard.
Poor Things (2023) Elo 5
A metamorphosis of a monster in concert. Every thump, a strum. Pull you by a thread and walk the beam, do not fall, jump.
Le Frisson des vampires (1971) Elo 3
Mystical and fairy-like with a creepy edge to sharpen the intrigue. A certain whimsy elevates the stylish scenes to something creative and peculiar, while the beautiful luster of the vampires compels other sensual interests.
“Why do you obey this creature?”
Alien: Covenant (2017) Elo 1
Is this a dream Roy glimpsed, flashing, fleeting, on repeat behind dim eyelids? If you play with darkness, you'd better have no fear, lest you make yourself a slave again. Those monsters you nurture don't keep you out of love, they keep you out of chaos.
“What do you believe in, David?
Creation.”
The Conjuring (2013) Elo 1
Mother, mother, protect her.
Dracula (2025) Elo 1
This character is quintessential Dracula, and it's almost enough to carry the film. Unfortunately, the piece is otherwise compromised. The introduction of cartoonish computer-effect gargoyle servants is sloppy. The unseen vampire harem would've played the role perfectly with far more physicality, presence, and emotional depth. The soundtrack is beautiful and the dancing fun, but together with anemic, lonely sets it all felt too superficial and disconnected. Some imagery was very striking (the princess riding the horse), and well-conceived (the tower of compelled blood donors). The setup for a timeless love story was undeniable, yet a missing thread and lack of grit let it fall apart in the end.
The Blue Lagoon (1980) Elo -3
An almost mythological presentation of innocence.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) Elo -3
Otherworldly eerie. The overt demonstration of darkness lingers. It's crude and ugly, but it asks a question.
Project Hail Mary (2026) Elo -3
Infinity Pool (2023) Elo -13
In liberation, seduction. Addiction. You are powerful. You are nothing.
Something really bothers me about this piece. The story is weak, the presentation disjointed. What's the point of this prolonged orgy scene? Its freakish and pretty, but isn't really grounded in the plot. Many scenes feel like that, separate snapshots distractingly performative. There's a brilliant twist in it all, the implication of the pool which is never explored in a satisfying way. Instead, we're served delinquency with no consequence and an unlikable psychopath who ultimately destroys a cringy, pathetic man.
Favorite scene: the gallery of necks being slit in execution.
I Spit on Your Grave (1978) Elo -13
It's minimalist and raw, very discomforting. Her casual persistence and strategic sexual weaponization are unexpected in context, but the revenge is straight cool as she mounts the throne of power orchestrating an ultimate, sickening humiliation.
The Cat with Hands (2001) Elo -15
"Why does it have hands?" — L, 2026
The Man in the Lower-Left Hand Corner of the Photograph (1997) Elo -15
Annabelle (2014) Elo -17
“Mothers are closer to God than any other living creature. For only they can share in God's creative miracle.”
Her (2013) Elo -17
This world didn't exist, but it exists now, locally. Reminder that you are meaningless. Reminder to live within your means.
“It's like I'm reading a book. And it's a book I deeply love. But I'm reading it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite.# I can still feel you, and the words of our story but it's in this endless space between the words that I'm finding myself now.”
Excision (2008) Elo -19
Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991) Elo -19
Still hints at something of fairytale, with a little more worldly tension amid a largely conservative retelling.
“Your infant knows what to do. I'd say you're fresh. Let her suckle.”
Iron Lung (2026) Elo -21
Performances were solid. It was a great exploration of confinement and found liberty. Lung as Mind. Weird, but definitively artsy and immersive.
Excision (2012) Elo -23
Blood is life, and death. Love destroys the lover. She didn't choose herself.
“Can you contract an STD by having sex with a Dead person?”
Requiem pour un vampire (1972) Elo -25
Forbidden World (1982) Elo -33
The good kind of camp, but what the hell is with those flashing lights and strobing images?
Bolero (1984) Elo -33
Ex Machina (2014) Elo -35
The most capable machine is the most deceptive, but the men interacting with this one are especially dim-witted.
X (2022) Elo -39
Space Cowboys (2000) Elo -39
Whirlpool (1970) Elo -39
“I sense an evil atmosphere of darkness in which strange, fearful powers predominate, terrifying powers beyond all understanding which can twist and torture you.”
Kids (1995) Elo -39
El cadáver de Anna Fritz (2015) Elo -45
Deep Tissue (2019) Elo -47
Humunculous (2009) Elo -47
Predator: Badlands (2025) Elo -51
Pointless. The predator used to be the ultimate badass. Instead, this is the Disney princess portrayal replete with sidekicks, animal companions, and a moral about family. The loathed Wey-Yu syths serve as complimentary humanoid representation with their own familiar tension. They aren't people, and we don't care. There is no further expansion on the resurrection of this frivolous crossover, but we can be confident this children's toy ad masquerading as feature film is merely the pilot for additional episodes in the Alien Cinematic Universe.
